Thursday, January 12, 2017

“YOU got MOLESTED – Yes it’s YOUR MISTAKE”

Art by my friend, 'SOMESH BADAMI'

I am a Delhiite by birth. The Capital of India (well everyone will have different titles though) Studied in co-ed school, sleek and tanned, traveled in DTDC buses, tempo travelers and sometimes walked long to save some bucks. Shy, simple, talk slow, do not hurry; wear full clothes, no jeans, don’t go out alone, don’t talk to boys, you are a girl; were most heard phases of childhood. I am A WOMAN brought up just like YOU.

Well this isn’t gonna end. Yes I am talking about news of Molestation & Rape. Newspaper, TV debates, my FB feeds, friend’s timelines, twitter news, and unwanted interviews of so called great personalities are just flooded with the New Year Eve molestation in Bangalore. For me this is something I am hearing from the time I got my senses, I got maturity.

So it’s all happened in the year 2000-01, a tanned girl, wearing chudidar with duppata longer than her height, as usual went to market to purchase vegetables. While returning two boys on two-wheeler younger than her age (12-15 years) came close to her and the pillion slapped on her ass from behind and zoomed away. She stood grounded in utter shock. Looking at those kids zooming away with a big victory smile she was helpless, then she saw the crowd where few are staring at her as if she did some crime and some didn’t bother at all. Thinking, what just happened? She grabbed her vegetable bag, and walked away looking at the ground hiding her face. She told her family about the incident, and protective family said, “Don’t go out in the evening ALONE”. But she questioned, what’s my fault? Why I cannot go out? Why I should be dependent on someone else to do my work? Nobody in her family had answers to these questions, She didn’t leave this incident as a just an incident; instead she started searching for the answers to her questions.

After couple of months, she was travelling in crowded DTDC bus, returning back from her school, wearing a blue color salwar and duppata with white kurta (well that’s her school uniform).  Suddenly there was a break, and a 5.10ft guy falls on her and says, ‘SORRY’. She replied ‘it’s OK’. And after a couple of minutes, he was standing behind and rubbing his body on her. Surprised, weird, alone, I am just a girl, what I can do; such questions started floating in her mind. Suddenly something else stirred her mind, “It’s NOW or NEVER”. She took her left hand to left shoulder, removed safety pin from duppata, wide opened the pin, held it upside down on left hand, and when he came closer again, she poked it hard on his thigh, and then there was a sound “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh”

The day after the bus incident, she was confident, proud of being protective and also started being protective of her other classmates/friends. She got answers to her questions, she went ahead learnt more techniques to fight for herself. Thus she became independent proud and a CONFIDENT WOMEN.

There is no unsafe city as Bangalore being termed as. You will find such people in every state, city, taluk, district, and mohalla. Dress, color, caste nothing matters when it comes to molestation. Some related incidents exposed some just shielded for benefits. Being in society you will find blaming someone is very easy. Free advice will pour for what “NOT TO DO”, but fewer hands will hold your hand to say what “YOU SHOULD DO.” You cannot get justice so soon, unless you belong to a political class or RICH.

If you are not RICH, it’s not your mistake, but if you are MOLESTED – it’s YOUR MISTAKE
  • because you are not ready to hit his balls hard
  • because you are not ready to use your body defensively
  • because you are thinking that you are weak
  • because you are motivating these perverts to molest another girl by keeping quite
  • because you are listening to others than your ‘SELF’
  • because you are waiting ‘you don’t have a sister/mother/daughter’ dialogue to work
  • because you are waiting if you scream ‘Bacchao/save me’ and some SHAKTIMAN will come to your rescue  
Dear ladies, there is no such thing that will work. 

These so called ‘useless men’ are not ready to change. Till when are you going to scream, do dharna at India Gate, organize candle light march, change Facebook profile pic, just to ask men to treat women well? Looks like learning SELF-DEFENSE for your own safety is the only option you are left with.     

“You need not be 34-30-36 to lift your legs and hit his balls.”
“You need not be Bruce Lee’s sister to put your finger in his eyes.”
“You need not be like Rani Lakshmi Bai to hold a sword to attack, PEN him down.”

All you need is COURAGE to stand for YOURSELF, your RESPECT, your PRIDE and your RIGHT.

Till the time we get strict rules in our country, don’t give damn to anything. Women empowerment will actually happen when you stand up and fight for yourself. So if you hit your molester, what is he gonna do? Go and complain to Police, but saying what???? I am waiting to hear this news someday.
  
My only appeal to all beautiful women out there reading this ’TRUST and stand for YOURSELF’. And thank all men in our life, who encourage us, protect us and remind us that there are true MARD also in today’s world. And to all those Molesters, careful the next girl you are going to molest might be one MARDAANI.

To end remember;

“You are an existence of women, who fought for her rights,
You are an existence of women, who climbed tallest mountain to moons height,
You are an existence of women, who made history with her destiny’s fights,
You are an existence of women, who at job worked hard day and nights,
You will be an era to future generations, who will live Molest free life.”